5 Keys To Define your goals with NLP

Did you know that most people never achieve their goals?

One of the main mistakes people make when setting their goals is precisely how they define these goals. Learning to define your goals well is an essential skill if you want to take control of your life and achieve success on your own terms.

In this article, you will find the 5 keys proposed by NLP to define your goals so that you make the most of your conscious and unconscious resources to create whatever you want in your life.

KEY # 1: Your goal must be SET POSITIVE

Many people are very clear about what they do not want but they never take the time to clarify what they want. There was a client who was very clear that she did not want to get nervous in front of her boss. And the more she thought about it, the more nervous she became.

Has it ever happened to you? Defining your goals in the negative creates a mental representation in your head that can precisely increase your chances of creating it in your reality. It’s used for athletes as a way to train their minds and it has powerful effects on their neurology.

«Where focus goes, energy flows”.

Make sure that the way you define your goals directs your attention to where you want to direct your energy.


  • What do you want?

If a negative answer still comes to mind, think:

  • Ok, if I don’t want this situation: What do I want instead?

For example, if you don’t want to feel nervous:

  • How do you want to feel?




Clarifying the desired result in your head is the first step to creating it in reality, and once you do, the rest of the way will be much easier.

KEY # 2: SENSORY Defined

You experience reality through your 5 senses, in the same way, you also experience your inner world through them.

And for the definition of objectives, the senses that matter most to us are the visual, the auditory, and the kinesthetic (in particular, your emotions).

That is, you create images in your mind, you hear sounds and voices and all this makes you feel certain emotions.

With this in mind, it is important that you define your goals through these 3 senses. In this way, you will be defining them in the language of your unconscious mind. With what it will be easier for you to focus and motivate yourself to achieve what you set out to do.

To do this answer this question:

  • What is it that you are going to see, hear, and feel that will let you know that you have achieved your goal?

KEY # 3: Started and maintained by you

What will the lottery win you? No

What X person falls in love with you? No

What does the economy change? No!

The stark reality is that there are many things outside of your control zone and it is tempting to think that this control zone is bigger than it is.

If you want to optimize your life, invest your energy where it will have a greater positive impact and discipline yourself so that your goals (big and small) are always within your control zone.

In this way you will end up expanding that area of ​​control and, in the long run, you will realize that you can achieve much more than you had previously thought possible.

Direct your attention to what you can do to create the results you want to create.

For example. A friend of mine wanted a certain person to fall in love with him. I proposed that he redefine his objective in this way.

What type of person should you become so that the type of person you like (and even that person) falls in love with you? or she is attracted to you, is it worth being in a relationship with you … etc.

Improving yourself was something that was within your zone of control. Deciding to talk to that person more was something that was also within his zone of control. Getting the other person to want to be with him, not necessarily.

If this is your case, can you influence this? Of course. But the goal is up to you.

KEY # 4: Maintain the positive intention of the current state

Virtually every behavior you engage in has a positive intention or is a habit that was formed by seeking positive intention.

When you set a goal, you have a current situation and the desired situation.

Analyze if there is a positive intention in what you are doing now that it is creating your current situation and, if there is, what defines your objective in a way that maintains this positive intention.

Here’s an example:

Juan wants to quit smoking, but smoking is his way of managing stress. If he just quit smoking without looking for a better stress management strategy. It will be much more difficult for him to achieve his goal and it is possible that in the case of achieving it he will end up with another bad strategy of stress management, for example, eating excessively.

If Juan becomes aware of what he is using tobacco for, he can focus on developing a healthy way of managing his emotions. For example meditate, go for a walk or use his breath to balance his nervous system.

KEY # 5: Ecological

You must be clear about how your goal can interfere with the rest of the areas of your life, to avoid paying too high a price for it. In fact, doing a good risk calculation will help you not only protect what is important to you while you work to achieve your goal, but also reduce internal resistance and better focus towards that goal.

To apply this make a list of the areas of your life that are important to you:

Health, family, friends, work, money … whatever.

Once you have made this list, area by area ask yourself:

  • What’s the worst that could happen to X on the way to achieving this goal?
  • Is this a price you are willing to pay?

And especially if the answer to the previous question is NO:

  • How can you avoid it? What strategies can you put into practice to prevent it from happening?

When you make decisions that are not congruent with your values, it will be more difficult for you to focus and motivate yourself and, in the long run, it causes an emotional drain that ends up making it very difficult to continue moving forward.

On the other hand, when your decisions are congruent with what matters to you when your goals are ECOLOGICAL so that you are respecting what is important to you, your unconscious is much freer from resistance and you will move forward with much more energy and focus.

Well, now …

You already have a super well-defined goal! Congratulations!!

And that’s it? Well yes … and no. It is not about applying this to a couple of objectives and now, it is about getting used to using these keys continuously.

When you realize that you are setting a negative goal, make a STOP in your mind, and ask yourself:

What do I want?

Define what you are going to see, hear, and feel that will let you know that you have achieved your goal.

Make sure you are focusing on what you can control, that you keep your intention positive and that you respect the other areas of your life.

The more you put it into practice, the easier it will be to define all your goals well, until it becomes an almost automatic process.

That is where you will find the greatest benefits.

Now, I want to hear from you!

How are you going to apply what you have learned in this article?

What is the key that you liked the most?

Leave it to me in the comments.

I send you big hug,


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